[Mark]

Just wondering how old you were when you came out ,and who was the first person you told?

[marcus_86]

i told my best m8 when i wa 14 that i loiked boys.she sed she knew anyways but i dint come out to my parents til i wa 17,well it was my younger sister who told em,we'd ad a fall out n she blabbed so that wa nice of her but my parents went cazy n my stepdad hit me so i moved out the nxt day n av not bin bk since.

[wouldlikemuscle]

I started the process of coming in February last year (2007)

I was out clubbing with mates and the drinks were flowing nicely. Me and my closest mate (female) went to the bar to get more drinks and she mentioned that people in her family said why don't she go out with me... funny enough, my folks were saying why I don't go out with her... at which point I told her that "I havn't been entirely straight with you!". She gave a confused look and I told her to play on the words. The next 5 minutes... only one word came from her mouth "Really?" but it was repeated about a million times!!! lol. And she felt quite honored that she had been the first person that I told.

I told two more of my mates a couple of weeks later - we met at a services we pass on our ways home from out various places of work - another really good reaction... though they joked that they were pissed off that I hadnt told them sooner especially with all the sex advice they'd given me! I told them there was a lot of of stuff that could still be used tho.

The next person I told... the big one in my eyes - my Mum. This was a couple of months later - in June. We were travelling in the car and she asked me again about going out with my mate (the first one I told), to which I said there is a reason for it... I like men. She was like "Oh" and awkward silence for a few minutes, she also looked like she was holding back a few tears. When the discussion continued she was like how do you know etc, you've not been with guys before (little did she know) etc... but then went on to say well you're still my son and I love you, nothing's gonna change that. She still has issues with it I know, but she won't open up about them and I don't want to push.

Next was my Nan (live with Mum and Nan), who at first refused to believe it... but then came round to it and accepts it.

Then my Dad... conversation started in a similar fashion to how it lead up to telling my Mum, but he was absolutely fine with it... although like my mum - told me to keep my options open because I've not had a great deal of experience.

Most of my family on my Mum's side now knows... although my Mum told them about it, part of her way of dealing with it I think she needed to get other people's opinions. All have been fine so far.

As for my Dad's side of the family.. I don't know actually how many know... an aunt, uncle and 2 cousins do for sure... one of those cousins is also gay (female).

Several of my workmates / colleagues know too. All that DO know are fine.

[matty]

I came out to my cousin to start with then told the rest of the family.

My mum didn't take it well at all. It took here about 5 years to come to terms with it but now shes like a fag hag.

First Person I Told Was My Mum I Think I Was Bout 14 She Didnt Mined Then I Got All My Family 2gether And I Told Them All Most Of Them Didnt Lyk It My Dad Being 1 But Sum Didnt Mined

[Prince_Of_Narnia]

I first came out to my Brother he kept it secret. Few weeks later I came out to my best mate in College. I came a lot closer to her during that summer. The next year I told my Mum and she was shocked she cried and thought it was her fault I tried to explain and when she calmed down and there was a short silence she got up walked over to me hugged me and said no matter what you are always my Son and I will always love you.

I grew a lot closer to my Mum from then I talk to er about everything in my life and she probably knows more now than she would want to know but she says she is greatful. We show our emotions more now and the words I love you are said a lot more

I told my Mum and asked her not to tell my Dad. One year on I came out to my Dad and he was shocked he spoke to me less for a while then my Mum had a word with him about that and now everything is basically ok. He doesn't approve of what I do as he puts it but he says its my life and I am old enough to make my own decisions and my own mistakes.

The fact that in that one year my Mum didn't actually tell my Dad went to show to me that I can trust my Mum with my life. And I told my Sister a few months ago, the only reason I waited to tell her is because I see her very little and she wasn't around and I didn't want to tell her over the phone or anything like that.

p.s I came out to my Dad by letter, when I was living here in London for one year, in another country away from him and I knew I would be safe and stupid as it sounds now, it was after I got a job and could support myself here if I needed to; I was that worried about how he would react. But everything has turned out fine in the end.

[This will probably be one of my longest posts ]

awwwwwwwwwwwww bless ya hun my dad dont aprove of me ether so i no how u feel and i can trust my mum wiv my lyf 2 p.s ur mum rocks me and my mum walk down street comparing notes lol "hes fit " mmmmmmmmmm "yeah not my type" "now hes fit!!!!!!!!!!!" "ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah !"

[wouldlikemuscle]

Originally Posted by aaron

awwwwwwwwwwwww bless ya hun my dad dont aprove of me ether so i no how u feel and i can trust my mum wiv my lyf 2 p.s ur mum rocks me and my mum walk down street comparing notes lol "hes fit " mmmmmmmmmm "yeah not my type" "now hes fit!!!!!!!!!!!" "ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah !"

lol... I tried that with my mum once... it failed. I don't think verbal acceptance is the same as actual acceptance somehow! So I do it a lot with my mates instead.

yh i also do it wiv my mates but only my close 1 coz my other mates just ignore me and pretend that i dint say anything so im the same as u 2 sum degree

[SugarPuff]

I came out when I was 32, actually it was 8 years ago last week! I had the job of telling my husband and kids (5 and 8) aswell as parents. I had told my sis and bro the year before. I didn't meet my 1st gf til after me and hubby had split.

It was a very difficult time, but 8 years on it seems like a lifetime ago! Everyone's lives are sorted and happy, the kids are great with it and loads of their friends confide gay secrets in them because they know about me, and loads of kids at their school are openly gay and accepted. My ex-hubby has a fab new gf, and although it was devastating at the time, being honest and true about my sexuality was the best thing I did.